So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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