i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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