This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
