9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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