Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
