so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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