Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
