It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
