No subtext here. People are naked.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
