I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Let's get the cat blown out
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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