and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
