if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
