He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
