lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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