Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Randomize
