my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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