im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
