so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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