Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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