You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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