I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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