Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You smell like stripper and shame
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
