ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
