That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
