can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
