Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We're too hungover to prance.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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