So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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