Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
