so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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