the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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