Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
