addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
