i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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