you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
two words...techno handjob
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
