dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
