I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I've blown a few things in my day
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
