It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
