I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Randomize
