Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize