I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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