Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
you had me at cake vodka
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
