He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize