Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
