Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize