One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
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