wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
