And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
