i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize