we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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