Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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