the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
