I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
hell yes lets make some ravioli
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
