I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
