OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
