no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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