in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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