I wannas sexs uuuuu
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Randomize
