john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
