I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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