You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize