I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
