so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
