hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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