scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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