I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
