you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
