I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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