Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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