me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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