Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My liver just broke up with me...
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
