Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Randomize
