I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
