yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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