I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
my sisters under your porch take her home
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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