omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize