i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize