One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
