Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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