oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
